Given the dire circumstances I find myself in, here, now, this message begins to feel like practice for a suicide note. I just don't know where to begin only that my head pounds with the problems I'm downing in. Debt, joblessness, divorce and eviction. Things in my life took a turn for the worse when I found out that I would not be getting the last six months of unemployment. I've been out of work for the last year and a half and have not had a sit down interview for over six months. Even my recruiters won't call me back. The message I'm getting is that this economy can get by with one less office manager. My wife has threatened to divorce me after months of telling me how disgusting I am for not being able to provide for my family.
I've exhausted the good will of relatives, friends and all my job recruiters. A man cannot live by platitudes alone. The whole situation just sickens me and I can see no way out. Even the suicide prevention hotline is of no use. I need help and I'm getting to the end of my rope real quick and it's tied in the shape of a noose. Please, Jude, can you help me?
Since you are leaning toward ending your life, why not consider it terminated already? Death relieves you from having to face the myriad of difficulties you described--from the petty to the ultra serious. What importance do they serve when you've silenced your life?
Who's your wife going to divorce now? What employer will pass you over for a job? Your life no longer hangs on the whims or opinions of others. What I'm suggesting is that you have to live your life as if you just survived suicide. It serves as a shock to one's senses. Assumptions and beliefs must endure a shakedown.
Having survived suicide, you are now free to push the reset button for your journey. You have to use this occasion to re-evaluate your goals and talents, especially reconsider how you relate to yourself in every waking moment--this includes your body language like posture and the mood your countenance reveals. Hiring managers are reading these cues as carefully as they might sift through your resume.
The new, limitless you no longer accepts being pinned down by whatever harrowing troubles you endured. And of course none of them go away. But how you handle them stands the chance of a robust renewal.
While the economy had been imploding over the last five years, lots of people got busy exploring the shifting landscape for new foundations to build upon. Intuition is crucial at a time like this. What opportunity is out there wating for you to seize it? What unspoken career wish went unheeded while you held down a job? Don't you deserve the satisfaction of doing work you enjoy?
However dark the day becomes, never forget that it is your life's instinct to fight for survival; and you have honored that instinct by reaching out.